Last July, me and a friend, we’ll call him “Red”, went to visit one of my close personal friends who was a sever at Bellanotte in downtown Minneapolis. Close Personal Friend had told us to come down, and even though I used to work there, I was thinking my scuffed Air Force Ones and polo shirt might not make the cut. (They have a dress code now apparently.) But we stood in a line of about 15 and waited to enter the restaurant.
CPF usually ends up waiting on various athletes and famous people — Amy Winehouse actually invited him to her concert when she was in town. Pretty kick-ass. That doesn’t happen to me - I could know someone who worked at Foot Locker and they still wouldn’t invite me to watch them hone their craft.
Well, we got pulled out of line and escorted in after one of the managers saw me (which counts as one of about three times I’ve ever felt cool in my life, the others include free courtside tickets to a T-Wolves game and free seats along the dugout at Miller Park during a Twins-Brewers game). As we’re sitting around having a drink, Red notices Elton Brand is having dinner and CPF is waiting on him.
Next time CPF walks by, we tell him who he is waiting on. I ask CPF to tell Brand, “I had him in fantasy basketball and he was a monster.” CPF does, and soon after Brand waves us over. I introduce myself, and again tell him he was a beast for DNP-Coach’s Decision.
He replies, “This year I’ll try to bring up my assists.”
I love fantasy sports.
For those of you who have actual hobbies, significant others, or lives that cause you to spend your time on things that make you money, you may not know how fantasy football works. In simple terms, a person gets 10 friends together and each person owns a “team.” Then, each “team” takes turns selecting actual players. When games begin, you are matched up against another “team,” and if the sum of your fake group of real players scores more points in their actual NFL games than the other fake team, you win. It’s like crack for the 25-year-old middle class.
On Friday, the draft of the Fantasy Football Legends of Richfield will begin. I’ve organized it since I was in fourth grade and we’ve kept a fair amount of the same people in it each year. I pride myself in saying our league is one of the best around. In all seriousness, we could add another 10-team division in three days with people who want teams.
Am I actually bragging about the “prestige” of my organization of fake teams. You’re got-damn right I am. Anywho, I plan to blog about my draft and also some of the thought processes I’ve had leading up to the draft. I would have posted them, but let’s be honest, then the whole “secretive strategy” thing goes out the window.
Stay tuned for your update on “Army of Darkness,” the name I’ve dubbed this year’s squad.
**Sidenote: Elton Brand snapped his Achilles tendon last month and will be out for the year. I just hope he wasn’t trying some newfangled no-look pass. We at Ell’s Blog hope for a speedy recovery from Brand. In our basketball draft, he’ll still have a spot reserved for him on DNP-Coach’s Decision.
Leave a Reply