Link: http://clipaday.com/videos/no-crap-in-kevin-smiths-house (won’t reproduce on my site, follow the link, it’s worth it. NFWS-language.)
Every now and then, some idiot thinks to himself:
“Man… I’m totally going to take (insert cult movie director here) to task for his shitty production and lack of development in (insert cult movie here). I don’t care if the film - not movie - made $8 million in the opening weekend, using green screen during the battle scene with the (insert species of animal unique to the sci-fi gene) totally compromised the spirit of a comic book originally made for 10-year-olds.
He can’t deny my razor sharp wit that I’ve been honing on the IMDB.com message board. While he’s been hobnobbing with Hollywood celebrities, I’ve been sitting in my mother’s basement reaching level 32 in World of Warcraft - when I’m not e-battling Star Wars nerds who think Star Trek was a piece of shit. Just like I sent them into another dimension of pain, I’m going to really levy a complaint so vile that (insert cult movie director here) won’t know how to respond. He’ll probably just hand over his keyboard and mouse, never to type at the computer again. This time, when he does, I’ll have my super-rare Sony XJ9857 digital camera to capture the event and post later on my blog: startreksavedmylife.blogspot.com. And then I’ll post a video response on youtube.com Well, here goes with my question I prepared for months…”
And then in the heat of the moment the celebrity shows WHY they are talented, and completely ethers the nerd into a whole new level of virginity. Well, this time it’s Kevin Smith and some guy who will never show his face on Internet again.
Enjoy.
8 Comments
August 3, 2007 at 3:13 pm
After spending a month at cons, surrounded by nerds with 400 pound frames and 800 pound egos, this video made my damn day.
August 5, 2007 at 1:05 pm
I love it when shut-ins like this guy venture out once per year and take on someone who has actually done something with their life.
What audacity. Smith handled it well considering he probably just wanted to kick the guy’s ass.
Maybe Smith does re-hash stuff to the point of ridiculousness, but the market responds: The “Clerks” sequel didn’t do so hot, so it’s probably good he’s moving on to bigger and better things.
I’d love to see a list of his retractor’s accomplishments. They’d fit on a cocktail napkin, most likely.
August 5, 2007 at 1:06 pm
DEtractor, not REtractor. He’s not a surgical tool, for Christ’s sake.
August 6, 2007 at 10:25 am
Surgical INSTRUMENT not TOOL.
August 6, 2007 at 10:34 am
Tough crowd in the comment section! Stir it up!!
August 14, 2007 at 7:35 am
I forgot how touchy out-of-work surgeons can be. Sorry…tool!
Elliot, thanks for the comment on my Colleen Kruse post. I’m glad I’m not alone in recognizing cookie-cutter columns. Brings to mind a certain columnist for a certain small-town newspaper…can’t recall the name…perky, blonde, optimistic, great boobs…
Oh yeah: Lee Salisbury!
August 14, 2007 at 10:46 pm
I don’t see any new elliotmann.org blogs. laziness.
August 26, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Hello? Does Elliot Mann blog here anymore???
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